maybe with me

Songs.

2012-02-09T13:38:00.000-08:00

During work I listen to Pandora, and whenever I hear a song I particularly like, I always make a note of the song. Here is my list.

Every time I hear one of these songs, I always pause from my work and smile, turn it up and listen to the words, the music, and fall more and more in love. I've decided to post the songs here today.

Only a few of these songs have actual videos, but the videos are at least pretty good, and creepy in Chelsea Wolfe's case.

1. Miss You Now by Elliott Brood

2. I Would Be Sad by Avett Brothers

3. Biggest Lie by Elliott Smith

4. After The Storm by Mumford & Sons

5. Bowl Of Oranges by Bright Eyes

6. Gone For Good by The Shins

7. Sleeping In by The Postal Service

*Anything that mentions 'John F Kennedy' will instantly become my favorite.

8. Advice & Vices by Chelsea Wolfe

ADVICE & VICES from WOLVEN on Vimeo

9. The Story I heard by Blind Pilot

10. Young Folks by Peter Bjorn & John

11. Bounce House Demons by Chelsea Wolfe

12. Satellite Skin by Modest Mouse

Holding hands

2012-02-09T08:54:00.001-08:00

Hank always wants to hold hands.

Beer Down.

2012-02-08T13:15:00.000-08:00

I like to say 'beer down', when I spill beers, mostly because when the Bears, football, get a first down they call it 'bear down'. Totally awesome.

I had a beer down situation last night, and Hank was more than eager to help lap it up. I wish he always wanted to lick the floors, it would sure save on mopping and vacuuming efforts.

Hank, the greatest dog next to Doom.

Chelsea Wolfe

2012-02-07T09:10:00.000-08:00

Every time one of her songs plays on pandora, I instantly smile. When I drive late at night, I get chills while listening to her beautiful music. When I watched her perform, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I am smitten.

Life Through Pictures

2012-02-06T08:54:00.001-08:00

Saturday, February 4th, 2012

I woke my ass up early and started cleaning, went to the gym, drank coffee and cooked myself a little breakfast. I completely forgot how much I love to cook.

Tofu scramble on toast with vegenaise and colorful potatoes with onions. uh, yum.

Sunday, February 5th, 2012

I woke up and realized I actually did want to have people over for the Superbowl, because I was in the mood to cook once again.

I made street tacos and brussel sprouts. People usually eat brussel sprouts for the Superbowl, right?

Tonight, I am cooking dinner with the crush. We're making pad thai and we scheduled to start cooking AFTER gossip girl. He's a good one, this little crush that is.

6. Visit the natural history museum

2012-02-03T08:46:00.000-08:00

Here is number 6 on my list of 25 things to do before I'm 26. P.S. I'm giving myself till the end of February to complete the list.

I went to the natural history museum and it was beyond perfect. The building is absolutely beautiful. Utah doesn't spend a lot of time and energy on architecture, but when they do, they do it right. This building, the library, and the Leonardo are some of the most beautiful buildings I've ever seen, and when I travel I love going to museums. I didn't take very many pictures and I only brought my cell phone, next time I'll bring a real camera and have plenty of hours so that I can look at everything at my own pace.

I love skulls. I love dinosaurs. I love bones. So this wall was my sanctuary.

The scene of the Allosaurus' attacking the Barosaurus was probably mine and Harold's favorite one. There were little baby Allosaurus and it was cute- okay not so cute, but they were baby skeletons!

They had interactive displays throughout the museum and when Harold and I found the archaeologist display, we lost our control and spent far too much time trying to put these pots back together! I completed mine, and Harold failed.. NBD.

Lastly.

More skulls. I'm telling you, this place was made for me.

I like this picture because I look pissed at evolution and Harold is stoked on it. I'm now calling myself the closet creationist.

15. Take a picture of something beautiful everyday before I turn 26

2012-02-01T07:52:00.000-08:00

I didn't always take a picture of something beautiful, but it was always something happening. I really enjoyed taking a picture everyday. Now I want a real camera, one where I can actually take pictures of beautiful things everyday. Once I get a real camera, I'm going to do this again, but make it a point to take pictures of nature, or old buildings, or antique furniture, etc.. anything and everything that I think is ridiculously beautiful.

Today is my 26th birthday. It feels so good. I am at the best point in my life right now than I have ever been. I feel confident, I love my job, my friends and family are so positive and really help me from getting down, I have a few interests in the boys department and have been dating them- I've never been one to date more than one person, but it's exciting, I don't know why I haven't been doing this all along! I'm going to continue to make this be a year about growing and finding what it is that I want my life to be about.

I can't believe how much things have changed in the last two months, but I was so desperate for the change, that it feels incredible that I have made it through and feel more positive than ever. I really feel like dodgeball was a big help, I met two of the boys I am dating through dodgeball, plus a bunch of new awesome friends. It gets me out of the house, forces me to be social with people I don't know, and a little bit of exercise. It's so much better than kickball!

Wednesday, February 1st, 2012

My HRM knew it was my birthday. Precious.

Tuesday, January 31st, 2012

DMV... Really, your drivers license shouldn't expire on your birthday.

Almost the end of daily photos.

2012-01-31T08:30:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is my 26th birthday. The day I'm supposed to have completed my list of 25 things. I have failed miserably. FAILED. Tonight I am going to make a quick dash to complete as many as I possibly can after work. But.. Failed. I'll hopefully do better at my 26 before I'm 27.

Here are the past few pictures of my daily life.

Friday, January 27th, 2012

A small little article about my hotel. I mean super small. But I think it's so charming. I really do love this hotel.

Saturday, January 28th, 2012

I made birthday martinis. They were pretty delicious, but they definitely sneak up on you.

These two love birds just kill me. He was cleaning her bike off for her so she ran down to kiss him. What a gentleman!

Here is the booze cruise for my birthday at the first stop locking up our bikes. Terrible picture, those birthday martinis are to blame!

This is us at the end... a million other drinks were to blame at this point. I wore my HRM on this trip and burnt 1300 calories. Nice way to spend my evening. Oh, and yes I did wear that headband everywhere I went and it was awesome.

Sunday, January 29th, 2012

I felt awkward taking a picture of a picture, so this was just a quick snap. This is at my cousin's house, I went there because he's going on a mission so I went to say goodbye he's going to japan- so cool, anyhow this picture is of the Mariner 4. My grandfather invented a part for it and wrote his name in it before it went to Mars. That same grandfather died on my 18th birthday, so tomorrow he will have passed 8 years ago. I ended up getting this tattooed on my shoulder in memory of Charles DeWitt Baker Sr., and I can't believe how much my tattoo looks like this picture.

The aftermath of a booze cruise. Too many bikes in our home.

Monday, January 30th, 2012

Two of my favorite ladies gave me my birthday present on Saturday and these are parts of it. An awesome book and my absolute favorite beer.

So far this birthday week has been incredible. Who only celebrates one day?

Still Taking Pictures..

2012-01-26T11:16:00.001-08:00

Thursday, January 26th, 2012

Today I had to put black bags in all of the guest's rooms. We're out of laundry bags and we're trying to get rid of these bags we bought forever ago. I thought it was a pretty cute idea.

In the process I found the tiniest room ever.

I thought I had seen all of the rooms before, I have worked here for 6 years, but apparently I haven't. I can't believe more people don't complain about this room! It is charming though, and cozy?

Wednesday, January 25th, 2012

Hank and I were holding hands. It was cute. But then somebody was coming in the back door and he looked away from the camera just as the picture snapped. So the picture is really only almost cute. And I wasn't even holding a treat. He was just into the idea of holding hands. Who needs a boyfriend when you have Hank? Speaking of boyfriends, the date went really well but I am neurotic.. He likes bands I don't like and said things I don't like people to say.. But he was super sweet and very fascinating.

Tuesday, January 24th, 2011

I went to the store for work and came back to find this in front of the hotel...

It was my worst nightmare. An entire lobby full of children? I almost turned around. Apparently they were there for Rose Wagner. I totally lucked out.

After work, I went on my little date.

And I looked like a babe. He told me I was beautiful all night and after dinner asked if I wanted a few drinks. He really is a sweet boy. We went to the beerhive and he ordered beers for me that he thought I might like. I like a boy that takes charge. But.. I am picky and neurotic. I'm trying to not think about the things that bug me and just let him be him, but that isn't working.

Monday, January 23rd, 2012

Hank. My numba one stunna. Seriously, I can't get enough of this kid. Every morning I get his little pink nose in my face, he starts sniffing ferociously, then curls up next to me to sleep for another hour. It's my favorite hour of my day.

Pictureesss..

2012-01-23T12:32:00.000-08:00

Wednesday, January 19th, 2012

Hank. I can't get enough of him. Today I am feeling really off, probably because of a weekend that included tooo much drinking, but this little picture of Hank still makes me happy and excited to go home in a few hours.

Thursday, January 20th, 2012

I really didn't take very many pictures this past week. But at least on Thursday, I took a picture of myself actually ready for the day. I failed at making it 7 days straight as yesterday I spent the day in an oversized hoodie and today my hair looks like I've been crawling around outside during a windstorm. Lovely..

Friday, January 21st, 2012

Another picture of myself.. wow I was really bored this week and apparently super stoked on actually putting make up and doing my nails.

Saturday, January 22nd, 2012

I got fancy with my nails. When I go on my date this week, I am going to do my nails like this again. He's going to be blown away, isn't he? ;)

Sunday, January 23rd, 2012

I spent the entire day at the bar with a bunch of asshole boys shouting at the television. I was tired, hung over, and feeling a bit off from the shenanigans of Saturday. The boys were pretty hilarious, but I was stoked by the time I was in bed. P.S. I tried to cheer for the 49ers, but I couldn't do it. Go Giants! I'll love Eli until the day I die.

I wish I wasn't feeling so off today. But the first 'off' day of the year, well today and yesterday, isn't so bad. Hopefully it's just girl time and I'll bounce out of it quickly.

dodgeyballs

2012-01-18T18:41:00.000-08:00

a dodgeball picture. mostly just my team sitting on the bench getting real nervous about playing, well i am texting.. surprise surprise.

How terrible is that color? Maybe next week they'll have pictures of us playing, although I hope not.. I can't imagine the ugly face i'll make during this game.

2012-01-17T08:10:00.000-08:00

Monday, January 16th, 2011

My bff gave my roommate and I a tour of the brewery. It was very fascinating. Plus the brewer gave my roommate an in-depth tour where he even let him taste the grains. But this beer, even though this is actually the one my roommate bought and consumed, is making me smile lately. Maybe something to do with my new crush, maybe not. Although, the crush did ask me out on a date, and I can't stop smiling.

Tuesday, January 17th, 2011

One of my goals is to actually get ready for seven days straight. So today I got out of bed, put make up on, put on an outfit that makes me feel cute, straightened my hair, put a few curls in, jewelry, tights, the whole thing. I'm feeling a lot better being at work, and telling people what to do when I'm dressed accordingly. I really need to do this longer than 7 days.

Pictures.

2012-01-16T13:12:00.000-08:00

Thursday, January 12th, 2012

Starting with Dodgeball. It's ridiculously fun. I joined a team with my friend Eli, however he had to cancel, so I got put on a team with Eli's friends, none of which I knew beforehand. But they ended up being incredibly sweet. Plus, I have a little crush on one of the boys and we've been texting it up ever since. It's pretty good to put yourself out there and meet new people. (of course since it's Salt Lake, this kid and I are connected in 10 million ways.. but that happens on the regular when you meet 'new' people, right?)

Friday, January 13th, 2012

Friday. Went to a show where two friend's bands were playing, plus new crush from dodgeball happens to be in one of the friend's bands. Excellent. Afterwards, roommate, neighbor, and myself went to a hotel and got on the roof. How could I only take one photo?

Lil view from the west side of a hotel.

Me being SO stoked.

Saturday, January 14th, 2011

A little birthday party.

Such a cute party with the most adorable theme. I loved seeing people dressed up in the middle of January. Happy Birthday to the lovely Alex D!

Sunday, January 15th, 2011

Sundays. Comfy. Cozy socks. Painted nails. Football. Beer. Nothing is better.

And the pictures continue

2012-01-12T08:46:00.000-08:00

I love taking pictures of random things in my life. I might have to just take a picture everyday for the rest of my life.

Monday, January 9th, 2011

Chicago. I love everything about Chicago. It's the most perfect city in my eyes. Especially the triangle building on this skyline trinket box. My cousin, who lives in Chicago, told me on my first visit there that this building was designed by a woman. She was tired of the skylines looking so phallic that she decided to take a yonic look for her building instead. (Isn't it sad that I had to look up the female equivalent for phallic. That reminds me of the idea that everybody knows what fellatio is, but rarely people know what cunnilingus is. Sad society, people!)
Anyhow, great city, cute trinket box, and I wish I could be there right now.

Tuesday, January 10th, 2011

Hank. The photos on my phone are all of Hank. Everyday I take a picture of that boy. I can't get enough of him. He makes my heart happy just looking at him. I'm totally turning into a crazy dog lady.

Wednesday, January 11th, 2011

Antique's. My newest obsession. I can't stop myself from going into antique stores anymore. Luckily, I have to for my job for the next little while. So two birds one stone. Perfect.

List.

2012-01-09T08:17:00.001-08:00

Having a cell phone that takes decent pictures makes it so I take pictures everyday. However, I have already noticed that I have stopped taking pictures of things that are beautiful, but instead taking pictures of things that I love, and times with people that I love. My heart is extremely full lately and going through each day of photographs just helps me remember how great things have been the past few weeks, and how great they look for the future.

Sunday, January 8th, 2011

My dog, my amethyst ring, and the book that I can't put down.

Saturday, January 7th, 2011

One of my most favorite people in the entire world, Gardner (green shirt), turned 26 on the 4th and we all celebrated on Saturday night!

Friday, January 6th, 2011

A man's shot (roommate's left) and a lady's shot (mine right).

Workin' on my list.

2012-01-06T08:15:00.000-08:00

I've been taking pictures of something I think is beautiful everyday.

Thursday, January, 5th, 2011

I thought the park looked beautiful on my way to work.

Wednesday, January 4th, 2011

I went to Anthony's Antiques over on 200 South, and thought the entire store was beautiful, but I especially loved this vanity.

Tuesday, January 3rd, 2011

Apparently the most beautiful thing I encountered this day was my work piling up over my keyboard. I really do love my job and have been completely happy when I'm at work lately. So maybe this is a beautiful thing. ;)

Monday, January 2nd, 2011

My Tree. Christmas Decorations. Purple. Dinosaurs. So much beauty in one photo. P.S. I really need to take down my tree.

Sunday, January 1st, 2011

Ryan Gosling with blood on his face. Yes, pure beauty.

Kellen owns my heart.

2012-01-05T13:58:00.001-08:00

2012

2012-01-01T20:02:00.000-08:00

The biggest thing I learned from 2011 is when you cut negativity from your life, it only creates positive outcomes.

I'm looking forward to another year of growing up and finding the person I want to be for the future inside myself.

Happier than I've been in a long while.

Lists.

2011-12-29T09:25:00.000-08:00

Recently I read a blog post about compiling a list of things to do before you turn a certain age. As I'll be turning 26 in a month, I decided to make a list of things that can be completed in the next month. And, I have made my list for 26 things to do before I am 27 as well. I am feeling pretty excited about this for the moment.

Here are my lists so far

25 things to do before I am 26 (February 1st, 2012)

1. Carve my name on a tree
2. Memorize a poem
3. Learn to say hello in 10 languages
4. Go on the yoga/snowshoe adventure with Blue Sky Adventures
5. Visit a botanical garden
6. Visit the natural history museum
7. Get cocktails with my girlfriends in our best dresses
8. Take a community class
9. Start learning Italian
10. Read a book and blog about it
11. Spend an entire day in my pajamas watching old films
12. Work out 7 days straight
13. Don't spend for 7 days straight
14. Make a list of 100 things I like about myself
15. Take a picture of something beautiful everyday before I turn 26
16. Find a craft on pinterest and complete it
17. Organize my kitchen
18. Donate old clothing
19. Lose 1 lb a week until my birthday
20. Bake cookies
21. Brew a batch of beer (I've already started this one ;) )
22. Drink 8 glasses of water everyday
23. Go on a snowy evening booze cruise
24. Clean out storage room
25. Attend 5 yoga classes

26 things to do before I am 27 (February 1st 2013)
1. Read at least one book per month and blog about it
2. Work out 4x a week, every week
3. Learn and shoot a gun
4. Go skiing
5. Paint a picture
6. Sew myself a dress
7. Make a piece of furniture
8. Don't spend for 90 days
9. Visit another state
10. Vote (I usually do, just extra motivation when the candidates look a bit bleak)
11. Learn 10 new recipes
12. Get a new tattoo
13. Lose 30 lbs
14. Get a breast reduction
15. Volunteer for Faith 14 times
16. Visit all of Salt Lake's tourist attractions
17. Get done up for 7 days straight
18. Go without make up for 7 days straight
19. Floss at least 5 times a week (much better than my current once a month)
20. Go on a booze crusie once a month from April to August
21. Change the oil on my car by myself
22. Learn to say 'I love you' in 10 languages
23. Go to an outdoor movie
24. Go to Mount Rushmore
25. Visit 10 national parks (Especially Arches in the winter)
26. Buy an original art piece

and before I am 30, I want to visit every state

I have been to and visited these states
Utah, Arizona, Idaho, California, Nevada, Wyoming, Colorado, Tennessee, Mississippi, Florida, Texas, and Illinois.

Only 24%!

I think I'll be blogging a lot more, to help keep me motivated for my little lists.

Everybody loves lists.

Growin' Up..

2011-12-28T21:20:00.000-08:00

How old are you?

3!

No...

1!

No...

2!

I love him.

k-k-k-Kellen

2011-07-23T06:18:00.000-07:00

My nephew is growing up so fast.

2011-07-03T06:59:00.000-07:00

"And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep."

-Slaughterhouse Five

Just a lil hangn'

2011-06-16T08:24:00.000-07:00

Ready for summer

2011-06-04T09:45:00.000-07:00

My roommate just bought a little hammock and so far it's been pretty amazing! I can't wait for the rest of summer.

Memorial Day

2011-06-03T10:23:00.000-07:00

Hiking in the snow with Gaby and Mike.

Definitely a nice afternoon.

Yes,

2011-05-26T15:54:00.001-07:00

I absolutely need these.

A life of uncertainty

2011-05-25T21:50:00.000-07:00

I'm always uncertain about everything.

I cautiously put one foot before the other while watching along the sides.

When I put two feet down and just run, I end up feeling confused.

Is there every going to be a place in the middle? Where I didn't cautiously wait and watch until nothing happened? Or where I didn't take off running to a room full of confusion?

Just Can't Resist

2011-05-24T21:35:00.000-07:00

I just have to reblog this beautiful picture of this lovely baby that is in my life.

This is my cousin Anne's beautiful baby, Kate.

She is so dainty, beautiful, and sweet and I have never seen anything so perfect in my life.

..babies like this one make me want one some day..

The Lonesome Heroes

2011-05-24T21:25:00.000-07:00

I recently just heard the Lonesome Heroes, and I am hooked.

They're playing at Burts on Thursday for $6.

Totalllly awesome!

If anybody wants to come with Gaby and I, they should do it.

being girly.

2011-05-24T21:24:00.000-07:00

I have no idea why I waited so long to see this movie.
But it's exactly my lil cup of tea and I loved it.

I'm kind of in a funk lately and all I feel like doing is reading girly books and watching girly movies, but I'm enjoying it 100%.

Maybe I'll crawl out of this in a few days, but maybe not.

A Holden kind of day.

2011-05-24T14:42:00.000-07:00

"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you'll start missing everybody."

Booze Cruise

2011-05-15T11:03:00.000-07:00

My lil crush is somewhere in this photo. I am not ready to name names, except that it isn't the boy right next to me or my roommate or my coworker. That at least leaves 3 or 4 men unidentified.

OH and he asked me about the next booze cruise, I'm assuming meaning he'll be coming along. I'm extremely sad that I'll be working until 11, but if he's there I'll at least get to see him right after work. Not bad.

Come to the next booze cruise!
Saturday May 21st Liberty Park 8:00pm
we are just going to decide from bar to bar which bar we'll be at next

sillliness

2011-05-15T10:58:00.000-07:00

I wish I dared to talk about my crush more. I feel like I am going to jinx it now that it is going really well. I am seriously smittten. It's ridiculous!

Also, last night at the game he introduced me to all of this friends just as "Hailey". Amazing. I was worried he'd do some shit like, "this is my friend Hailey". Nope! I am just Hailey to his friends. Plus, they got to know me for far too long, as we missed 15 minutes of the second half because we were all chatting. Also, some guy friends of mine kept picking me up, a few of my girlfriends grabbed my ass, and a handsome man winked at me all in front of him. Hopefully this makes him realize he should probably get on it and not make me wonder any longer! ;)

Complicated.

2011-05-11T11:38:00.001-07:00

Everything I touch turns into "complicated".

2011-05-11T10:47:00.000-07:00

for real.

Crushin'

2011-05-08T20:57:00.000-07:00

I forgot how awesome it feels to be all excited about another person. Being with somebody for so long, and loving them and hanging on to every last memory for the past 4 years of my life has made me completely forget that these feelings even exist. Plus, it's a bonus that the ex isn't a part of my life anymore, I miss him terribly as he was one of my best friends and maybe will be again in the future, just not right now. But I know that his presence always made these exciting time more convoluted than they already are in the beginning, this is of course no fault on his end, only in my hopeless romantic brain. Now, it's just me feeling like a little girl over every little moment. Analyzing every single word. Without fearing that I am going to hurt the ex. It's liberating.

And a little bonus in my silly little girl life, is that I got to see him, the crush, again today, two days in a row in fact, and I have come to the conclusion that him and I are THE most awkward two people on the planet. He is six years older than me, yet when we talk it's like we are in jr high school, and it's completely embarrassing. I also know without a doubt that nothing is ever going to happen because this extreme awkwardness will ALWAYS get in the way. But here's to hoping anyhow.

I love feeling this way.

Last Night

2011-05-08T09:12:00.000-07:00

The pub crawl was big! 30+ kids for some portions, maybe even close to 40, I only counted after the first bar and kids kept showing up! It was awesome owning the streets and we had such a great crowd.

Also, my big ol darling crush came along. I haven't crushed this hard, like this, in forever. I've crushed but never on actual potentials. This kid has it allll. I mean, ALLL that I have put on my list for my next big ol thing. (I'm a bit anal retentive, so to have a list like this and actually look only for these qualities is sadly normal behavior.) Anyhow, all night we were engaging one another, looking directly in each others eyes to the point of embarrassment and had to bashfully look away. It was beyond amazing and beyond adorable. Then at the end of the night we were on the Wells Fargo building looking over the city and he said, "I respect Harold too much, and I know you guys are extremely close. Plus, with my past relationship experiences, and yours, I just don't know about anything." (his last few words trailed off to me.. maybe he didn't say about anything, maybe he did, maybe he said it would never work. I don't know!) Why would he do that so early? tonight is the first night we have ever really hung out one on one like that. Why put brakes on something that maybe could have been awesome, definite chemistry was there, as I could feel it and see it from both sides. I told him he was a self destructive person. Then my defense mechanisms kicked in, and when he asked to hang out again I said, "I'll think about, buddy" Oh, yeah. Good job, Hailey. Real fucking mature.

I love that I am 25 years old and still love boy drama... One day, I'll grow out of it ;)

thoughts on bereavement

2011-05-04T12:15:00.001-07:00

I lost my grandmother on Sunday. (Also, why is that everybody uses euphemisms to describe death?) And, her and I weren’t close at all. Apparently she broke my heart when I was a child and my mother has been overly protective of my relationship with my grandmother. She never wanted to see me be hurt by her again and the result is that I became inseparable from my grandfather and never worked on getting to know my grandmother. My grandfather ending up dying on my 18th birthday, and shattering my life for the next few years. Even worse, my grandmother blames me for my grandfathers death. Apparently, dying on my birthday makes it my fault. I haven’t found the correlation yet. Now, I’m supposed to be sad over her death, where instead I feel sad for my father and my siblings for their loss, but I don’t feel any emotion towards the situation at all, except a ping of guilt. Why don’t i feel sad or any emotions? Also, in a recent class, we talked about grieving, apparently it is most difficult to grieve an adverse relationship. Should I expect extreme sadness in my future? Should I expect feeling guilty for never giving my grandmother a chance to truly get to know me? Or did she do that to herself?

I’m at a loss for feelings, words, and emotions.

deal.

2011-05-04T11:55:00.001-07:00

done.

I'm sorry

2011-04-26T19:44:00.000-07:00

But I just can't get enough of this kid!!

WHOA.

2011-04-24T08:35:00.001-07:00

I. am. graduating.

Crazy, eh?

My new man

2011-04-17T20:00:00.000-07:00

SO perfect!

Harold and I adopted him from CAWS on Saturday. He's 11 months old and is apparently a shar pei/lab mix, but we see some bloodhound in him and pitbull! He couldn't be more perfect! He doesn't get on the furniture, in the picture he is on the "dog's couch", (formally Doom's couch, but now it'll have to be dog's and doom is actually sharing!) he doesn't try to snake your food, and he hasn't had an accident in the house! He can sit, shake, and guess what hand the treat is in. I can't believe this adoption has gone so smoothly. How the hell did we get so lucky?! And how was this gem in the shelter for all 11 months of his life?! People are missing out, but I'm glad.

a lil bit of Chicago

2011-04-13T16:05:00.000-07:00

I haven't even been home for a month and I already want to go back!

Mostly for the gyros at Chicago Diner!

Chicago

2011-04-07T09:38:00.001-07:00

best trip EVER!

p.s. that lovely lil lady behind us, is Sue. The largest, most complete, best preserved t-rex. yes, those are here REAL bones! Insane, right? There is a plaque saying which parts of her are casts, it's like a few teeth, part of a hip bone, one toe, and possibly a few other bones. Absolutely incredible! She looks like a t-rex zombie in comparison to the cast dinosaur bones i'm used to.

Him.

2011-04-06T21:32:00.001-07:00

I'm still in his top three, at first I was offended until I found out the other two were his mom and his dad.

<3

i found this picture from when we very first started dating! This was taken over four years ago and we look like little itty bitty babies.

I wish things were different. I miss him. At least i'm lucky to have him in my life as my best friend.

oh dear..

2011-04-02T13:18:00.000-07:00

My nephew looks like louie anderson!

I'm going to helll for thinking this! but I'm sure he'll grow out of it ;)

Don't tell my sister, i still obviously think Kellen is the cutest, most precious boy on this earth!

my favorite lil k

2011-03-17T15:18:00.001-07:00

OH, smalllls i love you!

2011-03-08T20:59:00.001-08:00

I'm having one of those days where nothing feels right..

and a 10 page paper looming over my head isn't helping..

where is that hole I can crawl in and just sleep away my fears?

so perfect

2011-03-01T14:57:00.000-08:00

Today, I rode my bike to and from work. It was perfect! I can't wait to start only riding my bike places. I'm contemplating riding my bike to school tonight, but depends on if I finish my two assignments in enough time.

I can't believe how happy this bike has made me. I can't wait to buy more bikes and ride them everywhere. It's annoying how much I talk about it, but I just can't express it enough. (Nick told me I need to stop now, but WHATEVA I am excited!)

On my way home I ran into my friend Duane, he saw me riding past no brow so he decided to catch up with me and ride with me the rest of the way home! It was the perfect afternoon to ride along side with one of my best friends. We even made plans to ride to and from work together on Thursday. CAN'T WAIT.

Homework time NOW.

Little K

2011-02-27T18:00:00.000-08:00

My nephew is growing up FAR too fast.

Oh dear.

2011-02-27T09:25:00.000-08:00

I just couldn't resist. Amazing.

PROOF

2011-02-26T21:27:00.000-08:00

that I have been eating healthier!

Brussels sprouts, asparagus, TVP, and mashed red potatoes. Amazingly delicious.

bikkkke

2011-02-26T21:25:00.000-08:00

This is how I want my bike to look when I am done accessorizing it. SO beautiful and perfect. (this bike is even the same model as mine)

However, I would never want to be the girl that wears pajamas to the park.. Just not ready for that kind of life. No offense to the girl with the perfect bike in the picture, of course.

BIKE!

2011-02-26T06:22:00.000-08:00

1. Lose 30 pounds.
2. Get Organized.
3. Clean out closets.
4. Get Bachelor's Degree.
5. Get over that silly boy.
6. Get a new job.
7. Drink less. MUCH less.
8. Eat healthier.
9. Get out of debt.
10. Live life. Fuck the rest.

I set 10 goals at the beginning of the year, and so far I haven't been sticking to them too strictly. I haven't been drinking, and I have been eating healthy, so there's two. However, getting out of debt hasn't been a concern even a little bit. Especially since I'm going to Chicago and plan on doing everything possible and shopping a TON at H&M, but mostly because I bought my dream bike yesterday! I feel this bike purchase fits into the goal of losing 30 pounds, and in the long run getting out of debt because when gas costs $5.00 a gallon, I'll be rolling around town looking like a P.I.M.P. Yeah, NBD.

After I broke my leg almost four years ago, I have been frightened of anything that rolls. I have not dared to get on a bike, or a skateboard, and especially not roller skates. I am terrrrrified. Breaking my leg was a traumatic experience for me and it is something I still have constant pain from. You can still feel one of the breaks in my tibia. Plus, it was extremely expensive. AND I'll have a rod, two screws, and two pins in my leg for the rest of my life. ALL for one tiny, little, night. Not fair in my opinion.

This little, tiny, GIANT fear has kept me from buying a bike for the past couple of years. But, finally this year I decided it was time. I am not comfortable on rode bikes so I knew I didn't want a road bike. Honestly, I wanted a cruiser more than anything, but everybody has always said they're heavy and they have pedal brakes. I didn't want pedal brakes! Who has pedal brakes past the age of 7?! So, I started talking to a friend of mine, she turned her life around and became heavily involved with fitness and lost over 100 pounds in the process, she told me she had similar feelings on what kind of bike to get. She looked into bikes called Townies and said that is what I'm looking for. (She ended up getting a road bike, but she is more hardcore than me!)

I looked into townies and instantly feel in love! They are absolutely perfect and completely fit my needs. I looked up the stores that sell them in Salt Lake. One, the sports den, right up the street from my house, but they did not have them in stock and were priced far higher than what I saw on the internet. Two, REI, but I dislike REI, I have to deal with their asses for Outdoor Retailers and can not stand them, they were overpriced as well and didn't have very many in stock. Three, Sports Chalet, I had never heard of this store but decided to just drive out there to check the bikes out. They had the exact one I wanted, the 21d, comes with gear brakes, and 21 speeds. It was PERFECT. They even had the most beautiful blue color ever and I was hooked. I bought it along with a helmet, for my mama, and a nice lock.

my beautiful bike.

my adorable helmet.
(i feel really lame with a helmet, but I don't trust drivers and I'd rather not hit my head at some point in my biking excursions.)

I can't wait for Sunday afternoon bike rides, and biking to work and school everyday. I love it. After one bike ride, I'm already craving more. I now want to get a mountain bike and go mountain biking, and one day in the near future, I'll get over my fear of road bikes and purchase one as well. Why I haven't I been doing this for years?!

My adorable bike will need adorable accents.
Next I'm going to buy this bell

a basket

fenders

bike lights (for booze cruises mainly)

and this amazing seat! which also has matching handle bar covers!

This going to be an amazing year. and watch out 30 pounds, I'm gonna lose you.

Other needs:
More adorable casual clothes. Sunglasses. A messenger bag. and a bike rack.
(this is getting expensive..)

Chicago.

2011-02-12T10:47:00.000-08:00

I finallly bought my plane tickets to Chicago. I can't even wait. Me and one of my favorite ladies will be spending 5 days during our spring break in my favorite city. I can't wait to show her around the areas I've already seen and explore new uncharted territories, to us of course.

Our plan for chicago is to see as MUCH as possible.

We are going to get one of those Chicago pass things that includes almost all of the museums. Every morning we are going to wake up early, drink loads of coffee and explore as much of the city and museums as possible.

Then nap at the beautiful, downtown hotel and get dolllled up, eat at as many delicious vegan restaurants as we can, and hit up the night life scene.

Sounds so perfect.

Google has an option to plan out your vacations. So far it's been a lot of fun.
Chicagggoooo Map
yeah, we are a little bit prepared. nbd.

tumblr

2011-01-18T11:23:00.000-08:00

I'm really into tumblr right now!

maybewithmexoxo.tumblr.com

does anybody else have tumblr?

Gettin' my needs one by one.

2011-01-08T11:21:00.000-08:00

I recently purchased the IKEA bookshelf I had on my needs list from two weeks ago and it has changed my living room right around. It looks a milllion times better after getting rid of this stupid metal thing I've had since high school that is constantly falling apart. Every time I walk into my clean living room with my adorable book shelf, I get a tiny bit excited. It makes me want to keep everything super clean from now on. I can't wait to have curtains even more now.

Then today, I finally purchased a Cherry Berry bag.
There were a lot of choices and they were all completely adorable. But, I found one that I thought I could bring to school, which made all the difference in the world. I ordered it today and it will be here in 7 to 10 days. I can't even wait. I also LOVE that all Cherry Berry bags are vegan.

my very cute new bag!

Next needs:
Running Tights
Curtains
Chicago plane tickets

(all hopefully by the end of the month..)

As one of my 2011 goals..

2011-01-05T16:22:00.000-08:00

As one of my 10 2011 goals I have chosen to learn a new skill.

I thought about it for awhile, that skill I'd like to learn, and I have finally decided.

I am going to learn Italian.
and my goal for 2012 will be to go to Italy!

Mi Chiamo Hailey

uno, due, tre, quattro, cinque, sei, sette, otto, nove, diche

ciao!

My tiny scare

2011-01-05T15:57:00.000-08:00

Sunday afternoon I cleaned my entire house. I moved furniture around in my bedroom, as I have always hated the set up and knew I desperately needed a change. I also purchased the small ikea bookshelf that was on my needs list to eliminate this ugly metal thing I've had since high school and was completely falling apart. I vacuumed the stairs and every little corner of my house. I dusted the furniture and got rid of things I no longer needed. It feels incredible. My house looks amazing. After cleaning I went to dinner and on my way to dinner I turned to that silly boy and said, "I'm exhausted. Mu lungs even hurt." And he replied, with something along the lines of me being a baby and we didn't do THAT much work.

We went to dinner. Ate dinner. Enjoyed dinner. Then came back to my house to play video games. Half way through video games, I couldn't breathe any longer. My chest was bouncing so fast and it felt like I was being stabbed in the lungs with each breath. I took some medicine and fell asleep, hoping it would be gone in the morning. Instead, it was still there and even worse. My chest hurt more, I was coughing and my throat began to throb. I took more medicine and went to lunch. At lunch I ate soup and felt amazing. So then I went shopping. Halfway through shopping I felt like i was dying. I picked up the silly boy from work and had him drop me off at home, just so I could have a ride to the hospital if things got worse. I went home and got into the hottest shower of my life in hopes the heat and steam would help clear my chest. Instead, I felt like I wasn't breathing at all in the shower and it terrified me.

I got out of the shower and called my mother. At this point I couldn't even talk because the pain was unbearable in my chest. My mother was panicking and telling me to call my father but I was in far too much pain to explain the situation to my father as well. Finally my mother got the point and had my dad take me to instacare.

As soon as I got to instacare they saw that I couldn't breathe and brought me back right away. My oxygen was as low as an over weight 80 year old. They put me on oxygen right away and took and EKG. They first thought I had cancer so they took an X-ray of my chest. Then they thought I had a blood clot in my lungs. But finally, I was diagnosed as just having a little old asthma attack. They gave me an inhaler and some medication and I've been fine ever since.

Apparently, cleaning is bad for my health. I guess I'll need to hire somebody to clean my home from now.

2011-01-01T18:29:00.000-08:00

I will forever love this book.

Goals.

2011-01-01T06:20:00.000-08:00

1. Lose 30 pounds.
2. Get Organized.
3. Clean out closets.
4. Get Bachelor's Degree.
5. Get over that silly boy.
6. Get a new job.
7. Drink less. MUCH less.
8. Eat healthier.
9. Get out of debt.
10. Live life. Fuck the rest.

I believe these goals are completely attainable, I just need to let myself leap and take chances instead of remaining in my comfort zone that I've been stuck in for the past few years.

This was the first New Years in three years that I didn't kiss or see that silly boy at midnight. I have a feeling that this year it is going to mean good luck. As the past few years we struggled with our relationship each and every year.

I'm ready for everything to be different. I can't live another year as I lived 2010.

Dear 2010,

2010-12-31T19:14:00.000-08:00

I promise I won't miss you.

Or ever let myself have such a rough year again.

I'm living for myself from now on and forever..
unless one day I let myself have a child that is.

Needs!!

2010-12-28T09:04:00.000-08:00

These Michael Antonio shoes.

This Le Creuset cast iron casserole dish.

This Cherry Berry bag.

Plane tickets to Chicago

Curtains, although I'm not picky on exact curtains and I think I want to make my own.

Under Armour running tights.

This Ikea bookshelf.

I love that whenever anybody asked me what I wanted for Christmas I said that I didn't know. Now that Christmas has come and gone, I have remembered exactly what I need and want and now I don't have any money to buy anything!

best game ever!

2010-12-18T07:27:00.000-08:00

I got this game last night to take my mind of off things
and had such a great time!

It was a nice break from everything
and now I can't wait to go home and it alll night!

Oh, you know.

2010-12-17T20:21:00.001-08:00

Just doing what I have to do.
What is the truest thing I can do to myself.

Emotionally, realistically, physically.. and a million more reasons.

but I still can not lose my hope..

never satisfied

2010-12-15T22:53:00.000-08:00

i'm never satisfied with what i have

i'm always wishing for more..

do do doo da do do de do

2010-12-13T11:48:00.000-08:00

i wish without me your heart would break
i wish without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake
i wish without me you couldn't eat
i wish i was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep

Kate Nash. She's amazing.

one giant horse

2010-12-10T21:14:00.000-08:00

Ching Sanctuary

2010-12-10T08:00:00.000-08:00

Just hanging out
kissing animals

Ching Sanctuary is an eye opening experience for meat eaters.
They can see the animals that are often consumed in a new light.
They are wandering free with other animals. People can pet them.
People can hug them. They do not have a car in the world,
and it is the sweetest thing you will ever see.

2010-12-08T08:10:00.001-08:00

Unfortunately

2010-12-06T18:04:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been telling myself that everything happens this way for a reason.

Or, that things will work out in the end, and if it doesn't, then it isn't the end.

I'm really over telling myself these things.

I'm ready for everything to change now.

I also need to find my confidence somewhere that once exsisted.

I had an interview today that was jsut plain awful. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't think of any scenarios. and worst of all, it was for a job i REALLY wanted.

one day.

hopefully soon.

2010-12-05T18:12:00.001-08:00

2010-12-04T22:04:00.001-08:00

my heart.

2010-12-04T21:53:00.001-08:00

i hate living so far away from him.

realzies

2010-12-04T17:25:00.001-08:00

it's here..

2010-12-04T07:58:00.000-08:00

finals time.

this is what my life looks like.

papers upon papers.

decorating

2010-12-03T19:13:00.000-08:00

i'm sad i've been far too busy with school to decorate

so perfect.
i love christmas decorations.

Meet me... in Montauk...

2010-12-03T13:28:00.000-08:00

my most favorite movie.

ever.

<3

RIP Ron Santo

2010-12-03T09:24:00.001-08:00

I bleed cubbie blue

i want to dance

2010-12-03T08:31:00.001-08:00

with you.

2010-11-30T06:52:00.000-08:00

Sex and the city has been my life lately.

want.

2010-11-29T18:01:00.001-08:00

i wants this.

Exposure

2010-11-29T17:47:00.000-08:00

I bottle up my emotions until they explode.

until the worst side of me comes into full effect.

at the most inopportune time. always.

this is a character flaw.

i want to fix this.

i don't want to expose myself to people that i wouldn't want to see me at my worst.

i want to say how i feel when i feel it.

it's tough, but it's real.

i'm not going to drink hard alcohol anymore.

without inhibitions, i can't control myself. even in the tiniest bit.

i hurt the ones i love the most.
over and over and over..

and i'm tired of it all.

new goals:
lose weight. (always)
stop drinking.
exercise consistently.
love without boundaries.
say what needs to be said, and quickly.

the trio

2010-11-16T21:27:00.000-08:00

my heart bleeds for what you never did until now..

i'll never get enough alkaline trio in my lifetime.

My Favorite

2010-11-15T09:42:00.000-08:00

Lance Briggs, my most favorite football player ever.

I often call him Rance Briggs or Rance Riggs

mostly because when I broke my leg the first nurse that helped me was named Rance, and I'll never forget his name.

55, you own my heart.

2010-11-15T09:39:00.001-08:00

my family

2010-11-13T11:31:00.001-08:00

My nephew just killllls me. i love him.

Mama, Papa, Brother-in-law, and Kellllen.

hairs

2010-11-10T08:47:00.001-08:00

I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow finallllly
and i'm hoping to have it look like this as much as possible.

i definitely can't wait to have bangs again
it's been too long.

I love my PC

2010-11-10T08:20:00.000-08:00

Even though I started off as a Mac girl, I'd never go back in a million years.

I love my computer far too much.

Anywhere

2010-11-09T10:19:00.000-08:00

Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.

It's easy.

beautiful

2010-11-07T14:25:00.001-08:00

can't wait.

Oh, sweet Beatrice Baudelaire.
.. I miss these books.

Tacos

2010-11-06T06:37:00.000-07:00

Cilantro Lime Tacos.

Seriously the most delicious thing ever.

I've been wanting to make traditional tacos for a long time
and finally I convinced my cooking partner.

and we were IMPRESSED.

who would ever eat a nasty, regular taco after eating an authentic one?
what are Americans doing with those things.

The taco, yet another reason that I was born in the wrong country. ;)

ugh.

2010-11-05T09:53:00.000-07:00

i took an unwanted trip down memory lane.

i always take things for granted.

i wish i would have learned this flaw sooner.

...

2010-11-05T09:07:00.001-07:00

grrrl

2010-11-04T22:52:00.000-07:00

watching an episode of dexter tonight
and seeing april nardini from girlmore girls
reminded me how much i like my friend 'thatjordangirl'

here we are at hanson.

in an mmmbop it's gone.

Sum Faves

2010-11-04T12:53:00.000-07:00

HAPPY HALLOWEEGAN

Okay, so I'm the only Halloweegan in the photo..
but i still love these ladies

and that was one of the most fun nights i've had in a long time!

2010-11-04T10:41:00.000-07:00

i'm making pumpkin waffles this sunday

they're so perfect for this time of year

i can't wait!

Chikin Salad Sandwiches

2010-11-03T10:15:00.000-07:00

my favorite thing to make and eat.

i used to use chicken strips
but they're too expensive

so now i use TVP and it barely costs a thing

plus AMAZING!

<3

killing me, buzz

2010-11-02T12:40:00.001-07:00

so cute!

Giant K

2010-10-29T06:08:00.000-07:00

Kellen kills me with his cuteness everyday.

I can't believe how fast these past 18 months have flown past.

I still remember holding him in the hospital the day he was born.

I love this rough and tumble boy!